Music for the Masses

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

No More Doing the Dew

Or Coke. Or Pepsi. Or Dr. Pepper. Or 7-Up, Sprite, Root Beer . . . if it's carbonated and drinkable, I will not imbibe. Unless it's sparkling cider.

"Wow. Why the oh-so-dramatic change, there, Hoss?"

Let me tell you.

I am extremely susceptible to kidney infections. So much so that a 2-day "binge" of test-driving the new Mt. Dew flavors was enough to cause a renal revolt on a corporeal level. My body pretty much shut down entirely: Muscles ached of their own accord; my stomach insisted upon performing flips worthy of Barnum & Bailey's travelling freak show; temperature spiked to 102.

Through all of this, and being the corporate flunky that I am, I decided to trudge in to work on Monday. That was a huge mistake. I work a little under 40 miles from my house. The commute down sucked pretty badly. The next few hours are basically a blur. If the men's room had frequent flyer miles, I would have been a medallion member by 9 am. Finally, sitting at my desk at 9:45 and propping myself up on both hands and elbows, and after having no less than 3 people telling me that I was actually whiter than my shirt (not too far a stretch; it was a rather tan color), I decided that it was time to go. Ideally speaking, "go" would have meant "to heaven," but apparently Heavenly Father has other plans for me. Probably a good thing, since we're adopting the girls on MONDAY! Another blog post for another day, though.

Like I said, I live about 40 miles from work. It should come as no surprise that, in order for me to get home, I had to drive that same 40 miles to get back to the house. The problem was my body was already in shut-down mode. I haven't had that much trouble staying awake since our last high council speaker. OH! Where's a rim shot when you need one?

Anyway, got home, said hi to weef and the girls, and collapsed into bed. 4 hours of sleep later, I got up, had a drink of water,

10:30 pm

Yah . . . sometimes getting kids to bed sucks.

Anyway, yah. now I'm all sore again. Gotta sleep. Short story long, I shouldn't have drunk that Mt. Dew, yet I did, and now . . . I am where I am.

1 comment:

Texie said...

Wow that sounds torturous. Never had one and you know how I feel about those Diet Cokes? So anyways…. Good luck with that. I am telling you, either you are a hypochondriac or need to seek immediate medical attention because you are always ailed with some horrendous thing! Hey speaking of which, whatever happened to your ankle and its beginning stages of elephantitis? Hope you get feeling better soon!