Music for the Masses

Thursday, June 19, 2008

It Is Official!

The adoption is finalized, and we have been sealed for time and all eternity to girls 1 and 2. They are ours and we are theirs forever. What a beautiful concept.

Monday and Tuesday were extremely emotional days for us. On one hand, we were elated to have everything finished through the state, and we were overjoyed at the new beginning we have with going with the girls to the temple.

However ...

Along with the elation came strong feelings of doubt and worry. Can we do this? SHOULD we do this? HOW are we going to to this? I mean, yah--we've had them in the house for over 8 months, and I'm pretty sure I speak for both my wife and myself, but we simply have no clue what we're doing. I know, I know ... "Yah, there's no user manual with these kinds of things. You get to learn it all on the fly!" My philosophy is that there are some things that should not be learned on the fly. How to tuck and roll off a bike as you're careening down a hill is okay. Learning to point your toes as you fall out the back end of a disintegrating plane at 10,000 feet over a large body of water is okay too. Parenting, however, is not something you want to just "fling" yourself into. There *needs* to be a manual.

But it's impossible. I just look at our two girls and recognize immediately the futility of trying to write such a manual. These two have some striking personality similarities, but they also have some very distinct differences. Girl 1 is manipulative and is constantly trying to get her way. Girl 2 also wants to get her way, but she doesn't try to finagle the system like girl 1 does. Girl 1 is excellent at figuring out things for herself. Girl 2 gives up rather easily. Now ... there are about 16 months age difference between the two, but I don't believe that all of the differences are age related. Some, maybe ... most are just personality differences.

Which brings me back to my original point of not writing a user manual. Honestly, the appendices would far outweigh the actual text.


Texie said...

I guess where to start, is with the realization that you undoubtedly will mess up! What would childhood be like if you couldn’t grow up and tell your shrink exactly how bad your parents messed up with you? Where would the challenges be? What would you have to work on later on in life? This however, is a very big reason why I’ve found myself to be an un-procreator. Now I am not anti-procreation because somebody has to keep us up and running, but I myself, would make a mess of a person. I totally believe we are a product of our environment. So in the end you’ll be able to look at how messed up your kids are to base just how messed up you are right? Well in your case you have a great ‘out’ because you came into it late. Now when your kids say “you messed up me and everything in my life!” you can say “Nutuhh, you were like this before I got cha”. Congratulations, you guys will do great.

The Dixon Gang said...

Congrats on your eternal family!!! I'm so happy for you. I was 7 when I was sealed to my parents and I can still remember my feelings that day. What a wonderful experience. We leave for Idaho one week for today. We are hoping to make it down your way and meet your wonderful family!!! It's been soooo long. Email Craig so we can make some plans. Miss

April_Mommy said...

we are so happy for you guys! I am so thankful that you have two girls to call your own, being a parent brings so much more joy to life than I ever thought possible, and just knowing that they will be yours forever is a feeling beyond description.

happy mom said...

let me know if you figure it out okay, we consistently ask what should we do for this or for that, just make sure you talk about it, make time for the two of you, and good luck!